Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

I was so excited to see you last summer. The kids and I were so surprised and thankful when God gifted us that trip back to the US after two years living abroad. I love following you on Facebook and seeing all of your pictures and updates, but it just isn’t the same, is it?

I see your oldest just graduated. I can’t believe how much she has grown! My, the time passes quickly, doesn’t it? I saw the announcements about her scholarships to the state university just a couple of hours away from your hometown. I’m sure you are so proud. I confess, as happy as I am for your family, I struggle with jealousy. Leaving my daughter at college at the end of our trip last summer and then flying across the ocean may have been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m glad you’ll be able to join your girl on family weekend and that she’ll be able to bring her new friends home to visit you. Especially that new boyfriend that she is sure to meet!

I really enjoyed our time together last summer – meeting at our favorite lunch spot, hanging out in your living room just chatting and laughing over old memories. In some ways, it seemed like everything was just the way it always had been – that nothing had really changed. That’s not true, though. You don’t even really know me anymore. I’ve actually changed quite a bit. I wish you could know the real me now.

I’d love to take you to my favorite restaurant over here. And you’ve never seen my house. We could go shopping in the Night Bazaar and exclaim over all the interesting things to find there, and at such low prices. I’d love to show you what Christmastime is like in a Buddhist country – maybe just so you’d understand why I seem so homesick at that time of year. We could ride elephants together! I’d show you the festivals in my new country – have you ever seen lanterns fill the sky just like in the movie Tangled? Or seen the streets filled with people throwing water at each other?

And I could introduce you to my new friends – people from England, Ireland, Sweden, the Netherlands, and Australia, as well as my new Thai friends. In fact, if you could come to church with me and see where I work, you could meet people from Germany, Switzerland, Pakistan, Malaysia, China, Singapore, South Korea, Myanmar… it is truly amazing. I wish I could share this part of my life with you. Then maybe you could really know me again.

But I guess neither one of us has been very good at keeping up with the other. We know it isn’t that you don’t care or we don’t care – we are still in each other’s hearts. But the truth is that life is busy, and often it is easier to settle for the Facebook updates rather than take the time to Skype or write a newsy email. And we don’t ask the deep questions anymore, not like we used to when we saw each other regularly. My children were lamenting that very thing about our visit last year. “Mom,” my daughter said, “hanging out with all of my old friends seemed just like it always did. But it wasn’t the same. I wasn’t the same. I have had all of these amazing experiences, but they never even asked me about them.”

We have had some amazing experiences – both good and bad, and many of them so important for learning and growing as a person. Do you know, all of those years I spent before, living in our small town, it probably wouldn’t take all of my fingers to count the number of people I came in contact with who had a different skin color than I do. Or spoke another language other than English. (Do you know that there are many people who are actually fluent in three or more languages? I don’t know how they do it! I am still hoping to master two.) Or who don’t claim Christianity as their religion. Or have been chased out of their own country and forced to settle as a refugee in a foreign land. Now I see these things every day! In fact, I now understand what it feels like to be the minority. To be looked down upon. To feel out of place. To struggle to fit in. To want to be understood.  It changes you.

Let me tell you, I have learned so much about who I am and Who God is. And I honestly don’t think I would have learned these lessons if I’d stayed in my home country. I probably would have continued on as before, unchanged, satisfied and comfortable with my relationship with Him. In fact, it really has been discipline to be here – like Hebrews 12 says. Don’t misunderstand me – I don’t think I’m being punished. Merriam-Webster Dictionary gives one of the definitions of discipline as training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character. And that’s what’s happening to me.

When I say that, I’m also thinking of the level of trust you have to have in God to move overseas. That trust level leaps exponentially when you constantly feel incapable of doing basic things like speaking to someone at a repair shop or learning to cook without using any prepared foods. But it isn’t only trust that I am learning. I’m beginning to see God more fully now that I’ve seen more of His creation. I’m learning to truly worship. And I’m learning how to walk more closely with Him.

Well, I guess I’ve rambled on long enough. But it’s just been so long, hasn’t it? I’d love to hear from you – all the deep stuff that you don’t put on Facebook. Write and tell me how you’re really doing, would you? Because I still want to know you. And I hope you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Love,

Debby