An Open Letter to My Teenage Son (and every mother’s son)

Dear Son,

I know that you and other young men approaching adulthood feel the weight of expectations upon your shoulders. Where will you go to college? What will you study? What work will you do? How will you support yourself and your future family? And all of these things certainly seem like important questions that need to be answered. But as your mother, I want you to know something: there is really only one question that concerns me. Yes, just one. But it is much more important than all of these other questions awaiting an answer.

What kind of man will you be?

You see, God and I are not as concerned about what you are doing as we are in who you are becoming. And my greatest joy would be to see you grow into a man after God’s own heart.

I know that phrase gets tossed around in religious circles a lot. But what does it even mean? In his sermon in Acts 13, Paul refers to the events in 1 Samuel 13, where Saul was told that his kingdom was coming to an end because of his disobedience, and that he would be replaced “with David, a man about whom God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do.’” (Acts 13:22). So this is where we find that phrase – “a man after God’s own heart” – and we see it in reference to David.

But what made David a man after God’s own heart? And what can you as a young man in the 21^st century learn from David?

First of all, it certainly wasn’t anything virtuous on David’s part that earned him this title. You remember David, right? The peeping Tom? The coveter? The adulterer? The liar? The murderer? None of those things ranked David at the top of the list of God’s best guys. But here’s the thing about that: this gives great hope! Because son, as much as your mother hates to admit it, you’re going to mess up. Often. And probably badly. But it wasn’t perfection that drew David close to God’s heart, and it isn’t perfection that will draw you, either. You can draw close to God simply because He loves you and offers you forgiveness and relationship through His son, Jesus.

So if it wasn’t David’s upright living, what was it? Here are some important lessons we can learn from David.

David loved God’s Word and couldn’t get enough of it.

The Psalms of David are filled with his joy at the words of the Lord. He meditated on them day and night. He delighted in them. He read them out loud and committed them to memory. He studied and reflected on them. He begged God to open his eyes to deeper understanding of its truths. And he encouraged others to plant themselves deeply in the word, as a tree by the water. If this was the only thing you did, son, it would be enough. God’s Word has life-changing power. Immerse yourself in it, let it flow over you, and watch as the Spirit transforms you into the man God wants you to be.

David had a repentant and teachable spirit.

When God showed David his sin, whether through the word or through someone like Nathan, David admitted his fault, repented of the sin, and turned to walk in a new direction. And he accepted the consequences of his sin with grace and trust, knowing that he was forgiven and not forsaken through it all.

David went to God with everything he was feeling.

Joy, sorrow, disillusionment, anger, worship – David brought it all and threw it down at God’s feet. The Psalms are filled with the prayers and songs of David as he poured out his heart to God. And in that place of complete trust in every circumstance, David found true communion with God and hope for his future.

David had a profound trust in the truth of who God is.

When confronted with Goliath, the giant that had scared away every other contender, David strongly pronounced, “You come to me with sword, spear, and javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies” (1 Samuel 17:45). He knew Who God was – the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. And David had every confidence that God was capable of defending His people.

David didn’t rush God’s plan, but repeatedly sought God’s guidance and obeyed what He heard for each step of the journey.

Although David knew that God had called him to be king, he waited more than 1o years to actually become king of Judah, and still several more years before he became king of Israel as well. He waited patiently, enduring much hardship, again trusting that what God had said He would do, He would do in His own time.

 In the end, I think that if we simply go back to that verse in Acts 13, we’ll understand the key to being a man after God’s heart: simple obedience. God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do.”

This is my hope and prayer for you, my son: that you will truly become a man after God’s own heart.

Love,

Mama